Ever missed a stair? Hurrying with ease down a flight of stairs and suddenly your foot meets thin air instead of solid ground. In that split second you’re not sure whether you’ll catch your balance and play it off cooly, stumble until you face plant into the nearest wall, or just fall flat on your face at the bottom of the stairs. Will you be able to save the bag of groceries you’re carrying? Will anyone see you make a fool of yourself? Will it hurt?
So many unknowns. And it’s scary.
I felt like this after my daughter was born last year.
My life was cruising right along. I got married, got a house, got a good job, and then I got pregnant. Then, my daughter’s arrival *step* lead me to the decision to quit my full-time job *step* so that I could spend more time with her *step*. But what now? *missed step–falling*
For the first few weeks after she was born, I didn’t know whether I should go back to my full-time job or not. I wrestled with this. I stayed up at each night thinking and praying about it. Should I stay home with her? Should I go back to work and continue to contribute financially to our family? How can I pursue my passions and career if I stay at home? What’s best for our family? I felt like I was falling. Like I missed a step and I didn’t know where my foot would land.
I hadn’t even talked much to my husband about how much I was wrestling with this. I really didn’t want to burden him with it. He knew something was off though. One day, while I was rocking Emery in the nursery, he called me from work and said, “I’ve been working on our budget, and I want you to know that if you want to stay at home with her you can.”
And with those words, my husband spoke into my life, and I caught my breath and my feet found solid ground.
We have to make sacrifices to make it work financially, but I haven’t regretted for a second my decision to stay at home with her. I wouldn’t trade my time with that sweet girl for anything.
And while I did all that worrying about whether or not to pursue a career or be a stay-at-home-mom, God already had it all worked out. Since making the decision to stay at home, I’ve been given many more opportunities in the field that I’m passionate about – the arts. I’ve taught private photography lessons, adult art classes, and early and late elementary art classes. I’ve been invited to elementary schools to teach art lessons, and I’ve been able to continue my small hand lettering print business. I would not have been able to do any of this if I was still working full time, and all of these opportunities have allowed me to work in the arts, while being with my daughter, and still contributing a little to our family financially. It’s a win-win-win.
It’s so humbling and amazing to look at the last six months and see how the Lord has blessed the decisions we’ve made since Emery’s arrival. He’s worked out all of the little details that made the decision to stay at home so hard, and He’s continued to place people and opportunities into our lives that have made this all possible. Now I don’t feel like I’m falling anymore, but rather moving forward.
I tell you all of this just to say; if your life is turning to a new chapter, and if your foot feels like it’s missing that last step, know that our God works for the good of those who love Him. You have been called according to His purpose, and whether that purpose is staying at home with your babies, or working in an office, He will work it out. He is for you. He will not let you fall.