Everyday

The waiting…

The tiny frilly dresses are hung in the closet. The flowery onesies are washed and folded. The tiny pink socks are tucked away in their drawer. The diapers are sorted. The baby swings and soothers are assembled. The bottles are sterilized and stored.

And now we wait.

As the impulse to nest fades and my energy levels wane, the anxious anticipation of meeting our little wildflower grows stronger and stronger.

I’ve never had patience. It’s the fruit of the spirit I most struggle with. But nothing prepared me for the impatience of waiting for something that means as much to me as my daughter does. As her little kicks and flutters fill my belly, her future fills my mind. She’s all I think about, day and night. What will she look like? What will she be like? Will she have her daddy’s dimples? What will she be when she grows up? On and on and on…into the wee hours of the morning I think about this little girl and practice patience like I never have before.

The Lord has taught me a thing or two about patience in these final, uncomfortable days of waiting. Romans 12:12 runs through my mind over and over as I lay awake each night:

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.”

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Everyday

To my daughter…

Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, stumbled upon a piece by Sydney Davis called, Why I Will Teach My Daughter Not to Wait. I was so moved by her words. It inspired me to write a letter to my little wildflower. I’ve spent weeks putting these words together for her, in hopes that one day she’ll read them and know her worth, and just how loved she was even before we met her.

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My daughter –

My beautiful, fearless, kind, strong, roundhouse-kick-to-the-face-of-conformity daughter.

First – I want you to know that the love I have for you has been measured out from before you were even conceived. Since the first thought of you I haven’t even began to comprehend how it is possible that God loves you more than I do, but I know that He does. I want you to always know that too, and hold that love close to you all your days. Know without a shadow of a doubt, pretty girl, that the love held for you is so immense that it sits among the stars. The very love that breathed the stars into existence so that you might one day wish upon them, is the same love that holds you carefully and tenderly, nestled in the hands of an Almighty Creator. That, paired with the love your daddy and I have for you, will be more than enough to get you through anything.

Also, I want you to know that there is nothing you could do that would make me love you less. Nothing. 

Continue reading “To my daughter…”